Remember when you and your partner first started going out? You had a permanent grin on your face. At work you were a joy to be around. You radiated happiness and charm. You approached life with unbridled optimism. Whatsmore, you couldn't wait to get home in the evening to see your partner and recount every last detail of your day.

What happened? Now you dread going home in the evenings for fear of an argument. You feel racked with guilt at how much you have neglected the relationship. You're too exhausted to sympathise with your partner's gripes at work - and suspect they are bored with yours.

Relationship counsellors agree that once the initial high and loved-up feelings have passed (this period typically lasts for the first six months) most couples lapse into a limbo of taking each other for granted and not prioritising their relationship.

Relationships demand time, effort, patience and a great deal of respect. So does work. No wonder that the two seem mutually exclusive. A hard day at the office hardly inspires you to be the giving, sympathetic individual that a successful intimate relationship requires you to be.

However, with a small amount of strategic thinking you can halt this process and bring back the joyous highs that energised your life in the first heady months. All it involves is some logical re-adjustments to ensure that you are spending your time together effectively.

The good news is that if you follow this advice you will have more free time not less. Being together when you are both exhausted is counter-productive and leads to arguments. Plan your time together carefully and you are en route to a more harmonious and respectful home-life.

Here are some tips to keep your relationship healthy:

 • Set aside one night a week to go on a date with your partner

 • Concentrate on understanding the pressures your partner is under at work; (this will also    detract from worrying about your own)

 • Go away for a romantic weekend every few months

 • Delegate any task you can

 • Set aside a few minutes a day, a few hours a weekend, to be exclusively with your partner

 • Schedule dates and lunches together

 • Leave affectionate notes for each other around the house

Finally, don't knock marriage counselling until you have tried it. Couples who have attended say that the experience has been invigorating for their relationship.