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Confidence in the Workplace
There’s a
fine line between arrogance and confidence in the workplace. Jobsite
finds out how to stay on the right side of it.
Why do some people appear capable and likable, whereas others seem arrogant? And how can you make sure you’re the former, rather than the latter, when letting recruiters and employers know about your abilities? The key is confidence. If you’re feeling insecure, it’s tempting to try and talk up your abilities over and above everyone else, when you should be focusing on building up your workplace confidence.
What’s the difference between arrogance and confidence in the workplace? “Arrogance is very off-putting for other people,” says Eve Menezes-Cunningham, head of confidence-coaching company, Apple Coaching. “It’s where people feel that they are superior and they always know best. Workplace confidence is very different as it’s about having faith in yourself without assuming that yours is the only way or that you’re better. A confident person will know what they can do, but won’t rub other people’s noses in it. If they need a bit of help with something, it won’t trigger fear of getting sacked because they’re not perfect and that’s OK. Confidence in the workplace is much calmer and nicer to be around.”
Not feeling confident in the workplace, or during a job interview, can trigger arrogant behaviour, as insecurity can motivate people to prove they’re better than everyone around them.
“I worked as a model for a while, whilst I was looking for acting work in London,” says Gloria Pile, who now works in promotions. “I knew nothing about modelling, and always felt like a totally naïve, not very pretty girl who shouldn’t be there. I’d find myself bleating on and on about the acting roles I was going for, or the celebrities I’d met, whenever I talked to other models. I feel really stupid about it looking back, but my self-esteem was hanging by a thread and I didn’t realise I was using arrogance to mask my insecurities. I must have been so boring. At least now I know when people are showing off it’s because they don’t feel very good, and I’m much more sympathetic than I might have been.”
By and large, feeling confident in the workplace is a good safety barrier against arrogance. If you feel happy and competent, you’re unlikely to relish feeling superior to others. “Someone who is confident in their ability and knowledge will engage the audience on the audience’s agenda, not their own,” says Keith Ruddle, Fellow in Leadership at Said Business School. “They will spend twice as much time listening and responding to the audience’s agenda and building on it, rather than telling people how competent they are. The way to show people your capabilities is to actively listen to them and get on their wavelength. Only then should you talk about your own knowledge and capabilities.”
So how can we all make sure
we’re feeling secure and confident in the workplace?
“Think about an area of your
life where confidence isn’t an issue,” says Menezes-Cunningham. “What
do you do well without second guessing yourself? Maybe you’re a great
friend or parent? Spend time doing the things you feel good about and
then, when you’re at the workplace, your confidence will be higher
because you’ll have recent memories of yourself as a capable, competent
and confident person.” You should also notice when you do well. “Take
time to pat yourself on the back after every achievement, no matter how
small. You don’t have to make a big deal about it to other people, but
honour yourself. At the end of each day, make a note of all the things
you did well. Yes, they may well be part of your job description but,
by appreciating yourself, you’ll feel more motivated and confident
instead of feeling that you’re never quite good enough.”
Consider the people around you who are confident in the workplace, and emulate their behaviour. “Choose a role model. It might be a colleague who seems to do things effortlessly, a celebrity or even a fictional character. Anytime you feel a bit wobbly, ask yourself: “What would so and so do?” Take a few moments to think about how they would, or might, approach similar situations. Adapt your own approach and draw on your inner strength.”
However, if you’re suffering
from chronic insecurity, it’s worth considering whether you’re doing a
job that matches your talents and abilities. “If you hate your job and
it’s really not for you, spend your time and energy on finding work
that’s more suitable.”
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