Life and Career Coach Sarah Cooper explains why it’s important not to rush your job search.

If you’re job hunting on this site, chances are that something in your current (or last) job wasn’t quite right. When we decide to make a change – whether that’s a radical career change or just a job tweak – we tend to do everything we can to do this as quickly and painlessly as possible. This is because a quick move enables us to protect our income, keep a structure to our days and put the memories of unhappy jobs or work situations behind us.

Going into neutral

There are dangers in rushing from A to B without pause for breath. William Bridges, author of the classic book Transitions – Making sense of life’s changes advocates staying in the ‘neutral zone’ for a while. This seems like an unproductive space, but it is essential space between the end of an old situation and the start of a new one.

This ‘in between’ time allows us to make an important internal transition or mind-shift. This could be a period of time between jobs (perhaps due to redundancy). Or we can enter the neutral zone whiles we are still in our old jobs: we’ve disengaged emotionally from our work (just going through the motions), but we haven’t decided where to go to next.

It’s a confusing and scary time; we aren’t who we used to be and we aren’t sure who we are going to become. So, we’re tempted to skip this stage and fall into what Bridges calls the traps of fast forward and reverse. When I look back on my own past attempts at changing career, I can see that I have fallen into both these traps.
The Fast Forward Trap

I’ve personally experienced this at least twice; the first when jumping from corporate lawyer to fundraiser over the space of a weekend. But it’s the second occasion that I’d like to illustrate.

The new millennium was approaching and I had been a fundraiser for a cancer research charity for three years. I admired the organisation’s aims but had always been frustrated that, by working in head office, I never witnessed in any tangible way the difference it was making to people’s lives.

I probably would have stayed longer, but a particularly painful relationship break-up pushed me to re-examine what I was doing with my life (I’m sure many of you reading this have been there). After resigning my job, I took a two-week trip to Canada to investigate starting afresh there. Before I knew it, I found myself setting up interviews with… yes you guessed it, cancer research charities.

Finally the penny dropped: I couldn’t rush this process. I came back home, moved in with my parents and started to do some serious thinking.

Entering No Man’s Land

The neutral zone was a difficult and disorienting time for me. I read a lot of books and talked to quite a few people, but I still couldn’t work out exactly what I meant by wanting to ‘help people’.

Eventually I moved to Bristol and got a temporary job as a typist. My confidence was so low that I remember being thrilled when a colleague encouraged me to apply for a permanent position.

However, amidst all the confusion and unhappiness, I was learning valuable lessons, broadening my concept of who I was and what I might be capable of. I volunteered for a local drugs project and a housing association, mixing with drug addicts, sex workers, people with mental health issues, and grass roots charity workers – people I would never have met in my head office roles.

But nothing I tried felt quite right and I quit the neutral zone, falling promptly fell into Bridges’ second trap.

The Reverse Trap

Fed up with no money and being unable to work out what to do with my life,I fell back on the comfort of the familiar. I got a job as an account manager for a marketing agency (direct marketing had been my fundraising discipline). I ended up working on charity accounts, later moving back client side for a fundraising role. I had come full circle.

Moving Forward

It was another six years before I made any serious effort to try again. This last time, I was successful in working out what I really wanted. I don’t believe in regrets – but what a waste of time!

So, how can you avoid the traps I plunged headlong into, and stick with the neutral zone until it gives you the answers you are looking for? Here are some ideas…

Make The Most of ‘In Between’ Times

1. Be aware. Just knowing that these traps exist is a good start. Slow yourself down, increase your tolerance for ambiguity and trust that the answers will eventually come.
2. Don’t try to change everything at once. There’s something to be said for the totally clean slate: ditching your partner, quitting your job and moving to the other side of the world. But this depends on your emotional stability at the time – sometimes taking one step at a time is a wiser path.
3. Get some structure. This is particularly important if you’re not working. But even if you are, structure helps you navigate through the mess in your mind. Set aside certain times in the week to think about what you want next. Find an accountability partner: someone going through a similar situation, with whom you can meet, share your progress and brainstorm next steps.
4. Be prepared to go with the flow. I know this sounds like a contradiction but we can’t force our answers. I’m sure you’ve had that experience of switching off and suddenly a great solution pops up to a question that’s been bugging you for weeks. Give your subconscious a chance.
5. Persist, persist, persist! Looking back, you’ll see that this confusing, dispiriting, and frustratingly time was actually a key period of transition and of growth for you. You’ll come to look on it as one of the most significant episodes of your life.

You can sign up to Sarah’s FREE 5 part e-course Finding Freedom By Doing What You Love at nomoredreadingmondays.com. You will also gain access to 20 expert interviews on overcoming the money fears and realities that keep us tied to unfulfilling work.

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