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Making Life Difficult

I started a new job which I like, in a senior position, but the company is small and there is one member who has been recruited from a different field and is out of her depth.
Everyone is trying to work with this member of staff, but she is making life difficult for all the old time employees, let alone me who’s just started. She talks down to all the senior members of staff that know all about the specialist field we are in and have been here for in excess of 15 years each. The boss is money driven and has no people management skills and really does not care about anything else let alone working relations, so there is no point in going to him.
At the moment we all try and ignore the sarcastic comments, which the boss can overhear, but does nothing to stop. There is no union in the business I’m in so that’s not an option, I cant afford to take a dip in pay as there aren’t many other jobs in our field at the moment. It’s like the school bully situation but at work!
We should not have to put up with it. There is no way to prove the stuff we are putting up with and as professional people we should not have to so what can we do help!

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avatarcareersurgery3 May 2006Career Surgery
  • Don Thompson

    Carole, regardless of her age, your co-worker is acting like a teenage know-it-all. Look at how impossible it is to change them!
    If you are correct and the others feel as you do, then enjoy the working relationship with the other people and assume 90% of your pay is provided for tolerating the one bad apple. Think: “Another nasty remark, another tenner!”
    IMHO you are not likely to find any place where there isn’t at least one extremely annoying person so you’ll have to live with it where ever you go. Find coping strategies early.

  • Maria Woodcock

    To one side I would actually tell her that I am sorry she feels as though she has to talk down to me. I have never been spoken to by any other manager before so consequently I feel very hurt and saddened. Then I would ask her if there was any way I could improve matters.

  • theresa

    Go to the boss “on mass” if you all complain he will have to listen. speek to everyone concerned and tyhen ask the boss for a meeting where you can all speek up. Say your piece firmly but politely.
    Good luck
    Theresa

  • Lisa Hignell

    Hi there
    You don’t say what position this person has so I am unsure if this person is more or less senior to you,also you have not mentioned any tactics that you have tried already. But whatever someone (assertive but not aggressive) needs to talk to this person and let them know that they are representing everyone else. Do you ever have social events as a group or are you ( as a senior person) or an ‘old timer’ or even a couple of you able to take this person quietly to one side? A social event may help this person relax and open up a little- and you could discuss the issue calmly & rationally.It is possible this person may not be aware that this is how they come accross to other people, I know from experience that this can happen. It may just be a way of trying to hide the fact that they are out of their depth that makes them difficult to work with, or even problems at home that poisen their working relationships. Explaining in as diplomatic a way how they make people feel in a way that ressures them that you only want to help may resolve this issue may be the answer. If you have a training department I am sure that they could come up with a course that may sort this person out. Failing that circle a few adds in the local jobs paper & leave it on their desk-they may get the hint that it is time to move on.!!!
    Good luck

  • Prince Kamalaneson

    To start off we should appreciate that the purpose of any business is to make money – period. In a broader context enough to fulfil stakeholder and societal obligations.
    You do not want to take a dip in pay – so does your boss, no dip in earnings and not very different. Lets not fault him.
    Then your new colleague obviously has many strengths that can help take the business to the next levele, but certainly getting about it the worng way – hasty. You do not indicate if she is at a higher level than the rest. But even if it was so best would be to call for regular business improvement/review meetings as a forum and then use the opportunity to discuss your frustrations in an open and candid manner.
    Ignoring sarcasm will only make things worse and needs to be addressed in a direct and cordial manner and you may find that afterall she can be a nicer person.
    It takes two to tango, and wonder if she feels the same as the rest -not getting support. Good to ask what is it that I can do to improve relations. If we need others to change, we should change first.
    Use open, cordial and candid communications, avoid combat, to overcome what could probably be a simple misunderstanding. And you need to see how it evolves from there. I am sure all of you got enough talent to manage this difficult moment and yet come out on top.

  • Charlie

    And…you’re surprised by this? A disruptive individual such as this is often behaving in a dysfunctional manner for attention-seeking purposes. Kids do it all the time, and what they’re after most is a predictable behavioural response. So…be unpredictable in your behaviour to this individual. If they’re negative and disrputive all the time, just smile and laugh at them (not with them). Be aware of all the sarcasm and disruption, without agreeing or commenting on any of it. If you have to engage with them, do so in a disengaging manner. Use words such as Uh-Huh and adopt a ‘Gallic Shrug’ and just carry on as if it’s had no impact whatsoever, and give the impression that you’re listening to, but not hearing this negative diatribe. This individual is adopting this behaviour to generate recognition via response and to seek out and ‘recruit’ allies. Without either, they have nowehere to go and this will eventually drive them NUTS to the point where they will respond in one of three ways; commit a serious misconduct; stop althogether or leave the company. Of course, you could just circumvent all this by putting them ‘on notice’ in the first place. The Boss, of course knows what’s going on, but will self-justify inactivity until it directly impacts revenue and profitability, so don’t rely on him to do anything about it until it’s too late; by which time, he will only blame his senior managers for letting it happen in the first place.

  • Leah Robb

    Quite ofter people aren’t aware of the damage they are doing and most often don’t get told. Personally, if I have hurt someone, I would much prefer to be confronted in a diplomatic way by the person concerned than hear the complaint from the top.
    My advice is to be brave, honest, humble and professional. Speak for yourself – “You hurt me when you said….” is more diplomatic than “you have made this workplace hell for all of us”. Don’t gang up. If she doesn’t get the message, then perhaps you need to involve some other collegues who also can speak for themselves. In the playground, kids are generally quite good at speaking their mind so things can get sorted quickly (unless the bully has all the allies). Adults try to be so super polite that they start to back-bite and turn resentful instead. This is not healthy for anyone. If you want a pleasant workplace, then it is in the hands of the ‘pleasant’ to wisely repremand those who are out of step. Don’t say anything that you will regret even if she stays horrible, don’t let her make you horrible.
    This is my advice. I hope it is of help.

  • Kelly

    You say, “The boss is money driven…. so there is no point in going to him.” Well, I think this is exactly the point you should use to speak with him.
    Explain to the boss that this is causing serious working problems for the staff and in turn could have consequences on their performance and the turnover for the company further down the line – all because one individual is out of their depth!
    You’ll know what to say and examples to use, but I’m sure if you put it to him in that context he will be more likely to do something about the situation. After all, he’s not going to want to lose any more money than he can avoid!
    Of course, there could be another side to this.
    This individual may be frightened of admitting they are out of their depth and doesn’t know how to ask for help. In turn, they are putting a barrier up between themselves and the other staff and making matters worse. Maybe you, and possibly a few of the others, should try to get to know them a little better. See if together you can find a way to help this person understand how they are making others feel. Try to get them to respect the older staff and their opinions and work together.

  • Eric White

    With a boss like yours you have no where to go.
    Your best bet is to group together as “the old team”, get your heads down, get on with your jobs. You MUST keep a positive paper trail of everything you do within your daily tasks to cover your backs when the new comer eventually messes up and tries to blame you. Give the know all new comer as little help as possible and with a bit of luck she will trip herself up. when she does, don’t go running to her aid, let her drown!!!
    Tough may be, but i’ve been there and it works. The paper trail is imperative because when the proverbial hits the fan, which it will, you need to be able to cover your butts from your boss. Good Luck.

  • Bill

    Well you seem to be in-tune with your other peers and their reports or is the fact that she is making life impossible for all just your perception? If you REALLY feel that you all feel the same way about her – freeze her out. Agree that none of you give her those nuggets of information that make the difference. Make sure that other’s priorities are justifiably above hers. No need to make her fail that is one thing she can deliver on her own.

  • Prince Kamalaneson

    It is not a happy situation to be in, but certainly not all doom and gloom if someone takes control of the situation.
    To start off – lets make no mistake, the purpose of business is to make money and your boss is not different. Money in a broader context satisfying stakeholder and societal responsibility. As much as you say you do not want to take a dip in pay, so does your boss no dip in profits ? we are all no different.
    You do not indicate if the new member has come in at the same level or higher than you and the rest. But she appears to be taking control of a leadership vacuum that appear to exist, by design or default – certainly not losing anytime doing it.
    To ignore sarcasm and the problem will not let it run away. It will only get worse with time, double and some of you could peel off with time. This we do not want to see happening. The most professional manner to handle this is to to have candid, cordial, combat free and open discussions on the real problem and issues. If you brain storm with your team you will come up with many workable options. If there is no existing forum to take it up, you could still have one set up in a subtle manner e.g. business review sessions/meeting and use the opportunity if not as an agenda item, as any other business to bring out the problem into the open and have a fruitful truthful discussion about it. Got to keep it focussed ONLY on the issues and not on personaliti,s so that it does not switch to auto-defense mode. At the end of it there must be some definite simple agreed future steps or actions which gets documented and tracked. The other alternative is to ask the new member for some of her time and openly discuss the issue on a one-on-one basis, cordial but combat free. You could also use intermediaries, people the new member is close to, to get the message across, but this could be less effective and least preferred.
    As much as you and the rest, your boss knows what is best for the business and it’s future success. Obviously the new member has got strengths as much as all you senior professionals. You need to leverage on the strengths of all and someone has to take ownership and leadership.Who that someone is, only your team will know and can take control, individually or collectively.
    I reckon, once you get to know the new member and have an open fruitful truthful discussion putting the records straight, she may turn out to be a lot nicer person. No one is naturally nasty.If we want others to change, then we must change first. If not however much the others change, we may not notice it because we have not changed oursleves, or it may not be good enough for us with our conditioned minds. Believe that you can handle it and come out with a win-win solution from within. Keep your chin up.

  • MIRANDA

    You must start a diary and note the time and date of every incident, insinuation and any witnesses. Get your colleagues to do the same – you will be surprised how quickly the evidence mounts up. She herself might be surprised at how awful she is being, she probably knows you are all much more experienced and is trying to hide her lack of skills and confidence by bullying. Build the evidence – not sure how you present it to her – not confrontationally though. Bullies should always be given room to manouvre and not be backed into a corner if you want a positive result – Good luck.

  • william graham

    Carole, the fact that you have been in your field for at least fifteen years tells me that your not a young hothead who does not understand the ways of the world. I had a very similar situation with a collegue who is a complete pain, the main defference here was that he knew a little about a lot of things. I sorted it with a few carefully chosen words, in earshot of everyone else.
    You know the single most important thing here is not to lose it and raise your voice in anger, as that will only lead to this person knowing that they have got to you. If i were in your position, i would say in a loud but firm and confident voice, in front of other members of staff, that you dont need to listen to their comments or advice, then say that you would like to get on with work, and smile. This way you are not being rude, but firm and to the point. By saying this in front of others, this person may feel a bit embarresed, although this is not your intention. Because of this, this person may want to have a quiet word with you later, which opens up an opportunity for further dialogue to allow you to clear the air and hopefully restore some harmony. Remember that if you raise your voice and lose your cool, you usualy lose your case.
    Best regards, William.

  • Jack of trades

    I’ve been in a similar situation.
    The best way I have seen this being dealt with is directly. (this can be difficult if confrontations are not your strong point) but this doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive in a confrontation. Empathy and Professionalism is a good start.
    Either take her to one side and politely but directly ask her to stop her actions. Then give a reason i.e. because it is upsetting other members of staff. Then listen to what she has to say. You may find out she didn?t realise she was offending anyone, or maybe she is intimidated by the expertise in your company and feels she has to lash out.
    If the comments persist then surely this is proof that she has gone against your wishes in your efforts to create a good working atmosphere. Surely this organisation has disciplinary procedures. You may not even need them maybe a stern word will work. Bullies (like at school) run free as long as no one questions their actions.
    If you approach them with reason, empathy & professionalism they can only react in two ways. Either agree with your thoughts or rebel against them. Either way have the next steps to take planned out for each scenario.
    This way you can keep your job, respect and brush up on your ACAS employment laws at the same time.
    But here’s the rub!
    Somebody NEEDS to be bold and tactful enough to deal with this person.

  • Brian Green

    Hi,
    If you are in for the long haul and you really want to change the situation, the Best advice I can offer is:
    Find an alive church – they do exist! Join an “Alpha Course”. Tell one of the leaders about the problem, ask if two or three people will pray about the situation for you and ask if they can offer you any advice. I guess that you may not have already tried this route.
    I hope that your situation improves soon.
    Take care,
    Brian

  • stc

    I have had a similar situation, and unfortunatly you only have three possible options.
    1. Ignore it and carry on regardless.
    2. Find another job and leave.
    3. Use your experience and knowledge and arrange a little trap for her, which hopefully will show her that she does not know everything, especially if you help her to solve the situation you create, or use it to show the big boss how unsuitable she is.(The first option is the better, only use the last if there is no other choice)

  • Glen Mountford Tucker

    A number of strategies suggest themselves:
    1 – This person may feel very out of their depth and the behaviour may be because of this – one of the senior members could take her out to lunch and reasure her, at the same time finding out what her awareness is of her behaviour.
    2 – She may be resenting the “paternalistic” advice being given to her as she possibly sees it, letting her swim on her own could possibly help
    3 – It could be she is not aware of her behaviour, an attempt to find out what she thinks and feels may be productive.
    These suggestions are based on the premise that basically people do the best that they can with what they have, an NLP supposition, so I assume this person is trying in a positive way to solve their own problems. Seen from this viewpoint the situation is solveable and you may be overreacting because of your own feelings of insecurity.

  • George Epaminondas

    Talk to your colleagues and if all feel the same way as you, elect a member to talk on behalf of you all, hold a staff meeting and amongst other things thrash the problem out.
    Straight to the point, in a mature, friendly but firm atmosphere.
    George

  • iain leonard

    It sounds like this new member of staff may be trying very hard to impress his/her new colleauges, whilst getting no reward for the ideas and improvements that are obvious to the company. Carole should allie with this member of staff, and together they should plot the convaluted downfall of their common enemy, the money motivated boss of the company. Use your friendship to offset your wage demands and play all the dumb men against each other, if you are the cream, you will rise to the top.

  • Martin

    About 6% of bullying in the workplace is conducted by junior staff on senior staff. The other 94% is either lateral or top down.
    I suggest that you use the ABC method to find out why this employee is acting aggressively. No one acts without reason the difficulty is to identify the motivation behind the behaviour. Empirically, bullying is a defensive mechanism to protect the bully from being hurt. By using the ABC method you can help the person to understand what is causing her anxiety but also help her to examine the effect that she has on herself and also on others.
    The HSE website has some useful links in this area and there a number of useful books that address this type of issue. Don?t forget that employers have a legal responsibility to protect the psychological well-being of their workforce.

  • Linda Heward

    Dear Carole,
    I have read the comments posted to date with interest. Whilst some seem to say ‘just keep your head down and get on with it’, most feel you need to take some sort of aciton- I am inclined to agree, that doing nothing will not improve the situation nor will it go away.
    Very often people do not realise the impact of their behaviour on others – this may be the case and she may not mean to be nasty. However, how can any of us speculate of why this person is behaving in this manner or what her intentions are without actually talking to her?
    You could try talking to her – on your behalf. ‘Taking her aside’ with one or more individuals addressing her on behalf of others, could be interpreted by her as bullying towards her.
    My suggestion would be that some form of mediation could be very useful – where a confidential and safe environment is created, in the presence of a 3rd, uninvolved, unbiased party and where she can be encouraged to explore her behaviour and where the impact of her behaviour can be explained to her. This method has a good success rate, provided you address the issues early on and all parties genuinely want to work together in the future.
    Good luck and hope you manage to make the right decision on how to tackle this not uncommon problem.
    Linda

  • Frederick

    Not a nice position to be in, however it is not a situation that you and your colleagues cannot deal with.
    The word INSECURE comes to mind here. In my experience I have found that individuals [Male/Female] who act in this manner are very insecure and not confident within themselves and their capabilities in the professional sphere.
    I not comments from others advice that you go the aggressive “Get Back” road. This will not achieve anything and may well make matters worse.
    Try to befriend and not bite back. Make this person feel that she is working with and part of a TEAM and bring her in, not alienate and push her out.
    This is very difficult bout it will pay off for you, her and your colleagues. In addition it will also pay dividends for your employer in that with you all working as a team, his profits should improve.

  • Brenda Roberts

    I would take her out for coffee and tell her that you are having difficulty with the way that she responds to people in general and you in particular. And that perhaps she does not realise that she is doing it. Everyone has likes and dislikes but you would expect everyone to behave in a professional manner at all times, to all staff.
    Also say that going forward you hope that you would like to feel that your relationship will improve.

  • oyetayo oyeyemi

    I’ve been in this kind of situation before. All I’ll advise you is that everybody has a different view of life. The way A sees life is different from the way B sees life. So I would advise to go study ‘controlling emotion’. This would help your to understand your own emotion and that of others. Then ability to control now comes in. You would be able to work as a team with anybody no matter their temper.

  • Richard Ford

    Hi Carole
    Unfortunately, there are always people who enjoy behaving in the manner you described. I would ask the question – is the manager money driven or just weak because of lack of experience/confidence ? The manager is obviously aware of what is happening because he is in earshot of the comments that are being made.
    I believe that it would be wrong for you to takle the member of staff yourself with a view to improving the situation. Likewise, I belive it also wrong for the staff to gang-up together and appear at the manager’s office. My advice would be to arrange an appointment to see the manager, as an idividual, on a formal basis. Furthermore, any other member of staff who is suffering the same verbal abuse should also arrange an appointment to see the manager, again as an individual. This will then support your case.
    The manager then should assess the situation and bring this person into his office and discuss the matter in full with them. Hopefully, this may then improve the situation in relation to this person’s attitude. There are excellent courses that personnel can attend to improve their working relationships. One that comes to mind is a ‘Quality Service Skills Course’ which identifies internal customers, (people you are working with), as well as external customers. In respect of the performance issue the manager should address this matter separately.
    Obviously, should nothing happen after the meetings then my only other advice would be to ascertain who the manager’s superior is in order to bring the situation to their attention.
    I wish you luck.
    Richard Ford.

  • Sue Walden

    The Personnel Manager should be involved – company’s policy on bullying implemented; also what about job assesment / probationary period? If the worst comes to the woest, mention ACAS and solicitors to the Personnel manager / firm owner,and stand well back! Good Luck.

  • Tony

    1. See the person, quietly, in private and ask whether their sarcasm is intended and if so, why that person feels the need to make sarcastic comments. Bear in mind the real reason for sarcasm is usually based in contempt or fear – neither of which are easy to admit so expect to be rebuffed but your message may get through.
    2. Provide information on courses for improving communication – perhaps as a prompt to 1.
    3. Stop the person with a response ‘if I ignore the sarcasm to try and understand your message – do you mean ‘
    Emphasise that the objective is to enable the talker to get their message across without ambiguity or unintended distractions.
    I have used 1 and 3 successfully.
    Note that once the sarcasm is recognised as demeaning to the talker and distracting to the message the problem may ease.

  • N.

    Speak to the individual. You are likely to get a reaction of shock, or concern that others view them like this. It is likely they are acting this way as they are the newcomer, unsettled and unconfident. Typical bully, (as you call them), with insecurity about them. Unfortunately whilst some people try to tread water and learn the current they elbow others thinking it’ll help them to cope and make them feel stronger.
    By not speaking to them personally you create a tit for tat scene like a school playground. You also prolong and allow the issue to happen.If you don’t want to do it, you should, it will strengthen and empower you.
    Practise first if you need to, in the mirror or with a friend, preferably not a work colleague. They need to play devil’s advocate to give you a variety of answers so you are prepared for whatever reaction you get back.
    Go for it!

  • Nigel Deighton

    Interesting, sounds like corporate life has finaly reached out and touched you. A simple question, sarcasm aside does this person actually ask important questions/propose new ideas?? As you say yourself the existing team has over 15 years in place………typically a recipe for disaster maybe the old guard should be listening a little better and maybe they should be on their guard (it just could be that the boss has more team management skills than you credit him with). In my experience if everyone agrees something is radically wrong.

  • Donna

    I agree almost 100% with what Charlie stated in response to this situation. The only 2 cents I have to offer is to do the unthinkable and confront the individual. Let her know where you stand and that the behaviour isn’t cool. Not in a bullying way but in an adult way. Make sure that you let her know that you don’t appreciate it and that it is offensive to you. Perhaps include the fact that the behaviour can be deemed as off putting to others. I find that when you respond to people like that, in a mature manner, they tend to stop. I find too that talking about something in general on something that is neutral is a great way to figure out what “their story” is. Many times these people are coming from a difficult circumstance and “don’t” handle it by taking it out on others.
    The option is to let it slide and keep your mouth shut because if it is as you say that she is rude to senior management, rest assured her days are numbered. Companies tend to employ those that will get along with people not ones who try to be a one person show. That’s IMHO. Here’s hoping it gets better.

  • Stuart

    I raised a grievance over a matter similar to this and lost my job because it was affecting my work performance. Dont let this person get you down and think about the job you need to fulfill (what is in your contract). They always seem to win if you let these people get to you. A lesson I learned the hard way. I went through all the correct proceedures but if an employer doesnt want the hassle and you are the new person its worth thinking ‘why the hell should this person get in the way of my career!’ ‘They are the ones who are obviously stressed out but also be asertive. You are allowed to tell someone that you do not apreciate the way they speak to you and you can reasure the person that you are only telling them this because you care about your job and working relationships with colleagues. Everyone is entitled to respect at work. Good luck and keep your chin up. Its your life that this may be affecting.

  • Lu Lahodynskyj

    Things to consider
    (1) Does this person realize that they are being sarcastic, and the impact this has on the group?
    (2) With a high level of experience in a particular subject, a group will often dismiss suggestions without explaining why there are better alternatives.
    (3) An outsider does bring new ways of doing things, and no-one likes to be told to change. So is the group listening, or just reacting?
    (4) As a senior person in the group, you have a leadership role to play. You need to ensure the focus is on the issue and not the personality.
    Suggestions
    (a) The next time you are in a meeting and hearing sarcasm, re-phrase the statement in a way to address the underlying issue in a positive manner.
    (b) When an item is being dismissed, ensure that a full description of the PRO’s and CON’s are made.
    (c) Stop contributing to the back-biting. Being a leader is more than being “one of the boys”. It requires you to set the tone for your group.
    (d) Minutes of meetings, written in a neutral way, will help the group focus on the issues, and identify patterns and trends. This will help focus actions, and promote progress.
    Expectation
    If you try the above, then you should be able to get to the position where you and this person can have the private discussion that you should have had right from the start. As a leader it is your role to help the group to do better.
    If you have tried the above, and it has not changed anything, then isolate your team from this caustic environment. After all, they may decide to pick on you next.

  • Robert Michael Amy

    Sometimes what we see in a person is only a part of their make up. Everyones situation is different, reasoning, past etc which make us all unique. We are mostly made of water. Are you going to let another bag of water ruin your life? No. Its not worth it. If your boss is worth his salt its up to him to create harmony and pull this person to one side and recreate the team thats what he is paid for. You could as a person stand up for yourself and openly ask this person why and what is on their mind. How can you and your fellow workers help. If all this fails then dont retreat look at what you are worth a million dollars I am and write your cv and move on. Life is full of challenges and changes. As all business in the up mode comply with the law plan your work work your plan so should you plan your life and work it.

  • Ron Bradley

    This bossyboots of a woman needs to be brought taught a lesson as soon as possible. You can do this in the best way possible by using giving her the silent treatment: When she enters the office, you all need to clam up and be silent immediately, and resume your conversations only when she is not around. Keep doing this at every opportunity you get and stick together as a group. Eventually, she will end up with a face like a smacked arse, and leave.

  • Chrissy

    You usually find when people act this way they have no confidence and no idea what they are doing either, so they tend to take it out on the work force. I would try to ignore it, if she isn’t your boss, you can tell her to speak to you and the other folk with a bit of respect, she obviously hasn’t got any people skills, and you are above that kind of treatment. I know as I used to be in the same situation a couple of years ago and in my one to one meeting, told that person she had to treat people with a bit of respect then she would get some where with them and therefore have a better working relationship.

  • Zebedeerox

    If she truly is out of her depth, then her shortcomings must be apparent somewhere, regardless of her personality. She’s probably trying to disguise her inability behind this bullish persona.
    Highlight these shortcomings to your money-driven boss in a manner that leaves no reproach to you, but gives him no option other than to take action against her. It’s not ‘snitching’ if you have a genuine concern for the company’s wellbeing. If she is costing him money, due to her ineptitude, it can only be a matter of time before it becomes evident – and a little nudge in the right direction would do neither you nor your colleagues any harm. The boss may even be grateful to you.
    Sink her!

  • Phyllis

    I sympathise with you because there is nothing worse than working with a bully. Bullies always have to be in control and it is their way of making people feel inferior to them. Colleagues should not have to feel intimidated by her after all she is there on the same basis as everyone else – trying to earn a living – she is no better or worse then anyone else. People should stand up to her but not in an aggressive manner be firm and tactful and she will get the message. She is probably a very unhappy person underneath.
    Philly – June 5, 2006

  • Rebekah

    Hi
    Just reading the entries for the first time and there is a variety of advice. I’d like to answer from the other person’s side if I may, as a late entry.
    Sounds like the new person has come from a ‘corporate’ style organisation – you have to shout loud to make yourself heard in that type of environment. Moving to a different type of organisation can be tough because people work really differently – it’s a culture shock. The new person needs to be guided in how the organisation operates.
    - take the new person aside and discuss how they are used to working, they may not realise they are coming across as a ‘know it all’ (don’t use that phrase though – be tactful).
    -be patient, it will take a while for the new person to adapt. Read some books on induction and team building to get ideas of how to approach them.
    - if you have an HR person, get some ‘of the record’ advice about how to deal with the situation or ask a friendly non-direct manager for advice.
    - you have a wealth of knowledge, so you have your work processes down to perfection…or have you? Maybe the new person has an outsider’s view and can see something that hasn’t been considered before. Instead of resisting possible change, discuss the new person’s ideas: if they are unrealistic, explain why – it will help the new person integrate into your team. There is nothing worse than going into a new company , having lots of ideas and being shoot down left right and centre without any reasons why.
    -ultimately, if after 6 months you see no improvements and you’ve tried every trick in the book, you have a sound case to go to your boss on behalf of all the team and explain that it’s just not working – ask if your boss can provide a solution (don’t go suggesting to get rid of the new person, that is irresponsible and not helpful to your boss).
    Good luck. I just hope the new person is blissfully unaware of the havock they are causing thus far because I’m sure they just want to do a good job and would probably be really upset if they new everyone had a really problem with them.

  • Samina

    Hello there!
    Nobody deserves to be treated like that, don’t stand for it. Why should an individual make you feel like this? I think she needs to know what damage she’s been causing.
    We had a very similar situation at work and eventually word got around that all my colleagues except 2 were very unhappy with our new ‘manager’ we all got together after 6 months of living hell & wrote a letter to the boss which we all signed. We explained what we’d been going through & that we felt that we couldn’t continue. The day he was confronted by the boss our so called ‘manager’ resigned!!!
    Samina

  • Brian

    Leave!
    The boss sounds like a waste of space allowing it
    The other one is probably a fake who knows nothing, & will probably hang herself, with her mind games, fight back.
    Either way Leave, not worth it being there.
    Before you all fire back at me been there had the T shirt.
    Brian

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