Seeking New Pope for Immediate Start

Today the Pope handed in his resignation. There aren’t many more high-profile jobs than that one, and this sort of position doesn’t become vacant very often.  Here’s how The Vatican might advertise it if they ever got in touch with Jobsite.

Do you know anyone who might fit the bill?

 

Pope

– (Papa/ πάππας/His Holiness)
Job Type: Permanent

Location: The Vatican and various

Start Date: ASAP

Duration: Life (sometimes negotiable)

Salary: N/A. Benefits including company car (Pope-mobile) and accommodation included

Ref No: 27384-HolyFather-38KJ

Date Advertised: 11 Feb 2013

The Role

“The Roman Pontiff, as the successor of Peter, is the perpetual and visible principle and foundation of unity of both the bishops and of the faithful. (Lumen Gentium, 23)”. The role of Pope involves acting as God’s chosen representative on earth. You will be responsible for leading your flock and spreading the Good Word.

The role is a combination of representative and administrative duties. You will give annual performance reports (‘New Year Address’), assessing organisational performance and giving clear objectives for the year ahead.
You will also be responsible for overseeing the Church’s social media presence, including regular tweets (in both Latin & English) from the designated Twitter @Pontifex.

The Package

While there is no direct salary, the role includes living expenses and accommodation at a desirable location in central Rome. Benefits included extensive world travel and sole use of the bulletproof so-called ‘Pope-mobile’.

The Organisation

The Pope is the supreme spiritual and temporal leader of the Roman Catholic Church. Aimed at spreading the good word of Christ, we are the largest Christian Church with adherents numbering over a billion people.

We are a truly global organisation and any applicants must be able to demonstrate a clear ability to build a global strategy while recognising local differences, as well as an ability to deal with a wide range of people.

The Skills

  • All applicants must have a strong familiarity with the Catholic faith, including all of its forms, doctrines and rituals. Strong public speaking skills are absolutely essential
  • Leadership is a central part of the role, and applicants will be expected to demonstrate their ability to ensure loyalty and lead others. Cases where the applicant has dealt with splits in a team or project group will be particularly valuable
  • As part of the Pope’s role involves acting as a representative of the Vatican (an independent state) strong negotiating ability and people skills required
  • Applicant must have experience working in a high-pressure and high visibility environment. Being a Pope is not always easy, and the applicant will be required to demonstrate cases where they have acted calmly under pressure
  • Strong Latin abilities mandatory
How about this for a view from the office?

 

  • Rick B.

    Gosh darn it…I was seriously considering submitting my CV for this one, but I get the impression that being a devout pagan will most likely work against me. The latin aspect might also be a concern, but I was hoping that I might be able to bluff my way past that, with a few well rehearsed pidgin tirades. No biggie…I’ll put my hand up for the next OZ elections instead.